Allow the Scrubbing

Over a year ago the Lord told me to be a Janitor. I fought it super hard. Pride would swell up inside, as I would say, “oh God, please no.” Over and over God would bring it up. I wanted to cry at the idea of how everyone would perceive me. The thought of someone looking down at me was enough to make me want to throw up. Being transparent, fear of man has always been a paralyzing problem for me. God has taken many layers off, but I still see where some more need to be overcome. Despite what I felt and thought, I was obedient to the Lord. I put in an application to become a janitor at the school the Lord was showing me. Upon getting in for an interview, the assistant administrator said he had something better for me, and placed me for a different position within the school. I was obedient to what God was speaking to me, but I thought it was one of those aha moments that was a “would you do it” where you don’t actually have to.

Relieved I started this easier position In January where I would essentially play with the students during recess time, and make sure everyone followed the rules. I met many kids from different walks of life and loved it greatly. Then I was promoted into a paraprofessional position where I would assist in Pre-K, and in behavioral classrooms. By the end of the year I was given full time hours, which was a blessing. I saw Gods hand in it, and I loved every moment of it.

Then God kept placing in my spirit, “I told you to be a janitor”. I literally wanted to cry. I was like “Lord, I already tried, and He persisted.” I vocally expressed what the Lord was saying for months. The kids weren’t thrilled about it, and neither was I. I would tell people and watch as their continence completely changed. About a month later as I am actively pursuing the employment lists that are released. I told administration that I would love to clean the schools. Finally an opportunity arose. It was to clean schools during the summer, and I immediately went down and applied for the position. That day I was told that I was placed at the top of the list.

I started this position about two weeks ago. In my mind I thought the Lord was having me go into the school to intercede and it was a spiritual badge of honor, but what I found is a heaping portion of humility awaiting me at the door. Between reading the book for class and doing this job, I was an absolute mess.

The first two days I wanted to cry. The amount of work for 8 solid hours I was doing felt borderline overwhelming. My arms literally felt like they were going to fall off my body . My hands cramped in places I didn’t know they could. My knees were buckling because of how many times I squatted down improperly, and my feet were swollen worse than when I was pregnant. This job was absolutely terrible. From cleaning desks and chairs with questionable items on them, then stacking and flipping them upside down on one another, to moving them again, to scrubbing every possible surface in 3-5 classes a day, it was really hard work. It was harder work than I had never done before.

Then something crazy happened, something broke in me on that third day. I thought I had better ideas, yet I had only worked for 3 days, where some of them worked for 10-15 years. They have an order and a method for a reason, and I have to submit to that order. God has His order that He established, and I think my way is better. It’s the same concept. I quit thinking about how my ways were better, and realized there is a purpose behind what I’m being told to do.

I got a reprieve for a few days and cleaned out lockers. As I was scrubbing down the 4th grade hallway lockers I noticed something. They all had different things inside of them. One had a coat, some with crumbs, many had pencil and pen markings on the sides, one with a leaked highlighter, some with stickers, and one with command hooks that were superglued ,it felt like, and tape galore. I have never seen so much tape on surfaces in my life.

As I moved from locker to locker it had me start thinking, we all start off our journey with Jesus with stuff inside of us, but as He exposes what is inside of us we have an opportunity to allow him to wash us clean and completely renew us back to His original purpose for our lives, which is to serve Him. These kids had an opportunity to clean it out themselves, but some had items they missed, and some had markings inside and were unable to take care of themselves. If the marks are not taken care of, they could transfer on what they are holding, and stain it. If we don’t allow God to scrub on us, we can stain others with what we aren’t willing to get rid of.

Some of those lockers were sprayed with a heavy cleaner and wiped clean, and the process was relatively painless, but some lockers I sprayed 3-4 times and some I had to leave behind and work on others while the chemicals soaked, because it was so time consuming. At the end of the day whether one had a coat, one had a few markings, one had sharpie, and the other that had the glued hooks. They all looked the same, and had the same purpose, but what they will carry inside will vary from locker to locker throughout the years. Some will be crammed, and some will have space, but they will all be used. That’s how we are. We are all made in the image of God, we all are to bear his image, but He places things inside of us that he wills. The locker doesn’t complain, it holds items and keeps them safe until it’s time to let them go. He is the potter and we are the clay. We are not the one who decides which student we will help, but the assignment is given. We must just steward it well and release it as though it was never ours to begin with. We are the cup that’s poured into, and out of. The liquid isn’t ever ours.

I have been repeating two phrases. One is Philippians 4:13 that says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” And the other is “I can do hard things.” This job has exposed the pride I still had. It has been teaching me accountability. It has shown me areas of my life that I thought were functional, but were dysfunctional. I learned that I want to quit when things get hard, and it is showing me that my body may be tired, but a made up mind is what I need to push on. I have learned that everywhere I go is a mission field. Everyone is watching to see how I react. I have also learned how to listen to others without judging where they are, but seeing who they are supposed to be. The lower I get down, the more He lifts me up. The more I decrease, the more He increases. The less of me, the more people see of Him. I don’t need to be seen or heard, I just need to abide.

This job wasn’t so I could come in and have a false humility where I could say I did something for God. This job has exposed things still in me that need to be scrubbed from the inside out, like those lockers. This job has opened my eyes to so many things. God is using it to witness to the broken, in the midst of the pain in my body, and the scrubbing he’s doing in me. I can witness about His goodness while I am on the threshing floor myself. He is showing me His love and His mercy in ways I’ve never experienced and I would do this all over again if I find Him in it. I find myself laughing when I would normally want to cry. I see His faithfulness and by being completely obedient, it has opened doors for blessings to come. This position sustained us in the natural, but opened doors for full time employment for me this upcoming school year, and my husband to step into an incredible program.

I want to encourage you today, if the Lord is leading you to do something, don’t fight it, just do it. there is a purpose in it. Be obedient, be pliable, and realize Gods ways are far higher than our own and are always for a purpose.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD. [9] "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts. - Isaiah 55:8-9

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. - Philippians 4:13

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. - Romans 8:28